March 28, 2010

So much to say, so little time...

I have been completely ignoring my poor little blog, and it is not because I don't have anything to say. I have SO MUCH on my mind. So much on my mind that I am finding it difficult to organize anything constructive. Spring break is coming to a close and as of tomorrow I will be embarking on my 3rd and last term of Anatomy and Physiology... Can I get an AMEN?!!

This past term was my most stressful. I was able to take a quick vacation in the middle of it to visit my dear friend Suzanne and her lovely children. Unfortunately we brought our colds with us and left them at her house (I am so sorry Suz!!). We also stayed with my dear friends Julia and Jessica. There was a lot of running around but overall it was restful and a good time. I was able to catch up with 3 of my friends who were an important part of my life when I was at a major turning point. They will forever be a part of my heart and whenever I see them I am reminded of the good qualities they saw and brought out in me...plus they are just super fun to be around and I can be myself with them. Parker enjoyed herself too...







The above are at the San Diego Children s Museum


Del Mar

Self Explanatory


Balboa Park

At the tail end of February Derrick and I were surprised by his family with a stay at The Nines Hotel for our anniversary, and we celebrated my birthday there as well. What started out as a stay for relaxation clearly became a trip about food...and oh was the food good!






My new favorite salad











The view from the balcony on the Club level where we stayed







Derrick so thoughtfully gifted me this ring for our Anniversary. I had owned this very same ring in a smaller version once before but had misplaced it...I have wanted another one ever since.
He remembered.




Then spring break came and the relief....it took me a couple of days just to decompress. This trip to Hood River with my mom and the kids helped.















All in all spring break has been great. I didn't read a book like I wanted to but I stayed up last night into the wee hours of the morning reading The Pioneer Woman's Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. I was so caught up I couldn’t put it down…only stopping to eat at 3 o clock I continued until I reached the end , and in between that point I laughed, I cried, my heart swelled, and I even jumped up at one point to go in and kiss my own sleeping husband and children. Her story, so moving, and I identified with so much of it. The realization of what love isn’t, especially when faced with what love really is, looks like, feels like when you are on the receiving end of unconditional TRUE love. Not selfish or maneuvering but innocent and sweet. POWERFUL stuff. I found it to be so entirely cathartic, I just couldn’t stop. Her gift of prose is undeniable. The words move off the page and a movie of her life is so clearly pictured in my head. At the end I cried, and let out the most satisfying sigh, not because it was a happy ending (although it was) but because it was a real end….which is to say it was just the beginning…and aren’t all our lives like that beautiful and imperfect and tragic and novel worthy, plain and complex all at once? Every time we close a chapter be it a happy and satisfying end, or sad and tumultuous, or just nondescript….its really just the beginning of another chapter that can be anything we make of it. I began to take stock of my own life story and although I had never seen it this way I realized that there have been some huge mistakes, twists and turns and unexpected obstacles, but also a little luck, serendipity, love, heartache of course, and all of the unexpected that is the hallmark of a great story. I am left asking myself what the next chapter holds….in the book of my life what do I want the next page to say?




2 comments:

Conrad, Michelle, Bronwen & Ava Family said...

Now I have to get that book. ;-) Great pictures btw. :-) Hugs and I miss you!

Farah de verteuil said...

Very nice blog Jana, but I don't think you have to dress up the mutton because you have the lamb!